Lord, Heal Your Children's Broken HeartsEvery year that I have come to Zambia God shows me a little more of His love and brokeness for His children. In coming to Zambia this year I prayed that God would break my heart for what breaks His and help me to love more like He loves. Little did I know over these past two weeks the way that God would break my heart for His broken children. Precious little Isaac who had such a hard time the week before last had another tough week. This past Wednesday, little Isaac was very upset again when he had consequences of his behavior by having to clean. After throwing about 6 items out of the window, and moving stuff around the room, he decided once again that he would clean. (This was around an hour that this was all happening)
While he was staring at me (I think wondering if I was going to give in) I just asked The Lord to show me how to love Isaac. I have a hard time getting him to truly look at me as he usually just hangs his head while he is trying to avoid me. The room was cleaned and I walked him out to the end of the school so he could go home and I asked him if he would like me to walk him home or if he wanted to go by himself. He wanted to go on his own, but then he wouldn't leave. He began tearing up some of the outside work that was being done and after several warnings, I finally told him that I would have to walk him home. (On a side note, he lives in one of the farthest houses from the school). He then refused to walk home with me and began throwing a fit. One of the house moms came over from the house right across from the school and talked to him and it didn't help. She eventually got one of the fourth grade boys to pick him up and he was to carry him home. As soon as he picked him up I could visually see Isaac go into survival mode and he began hitting the older boy in the face and so as I was pulling his hands down he decided to bite my hand. I know that his intent was not to hurt me, but to survive. The older child and I finally got him home after about 15 minutes and I was trying to get out of the house as quick as I could before I completely burst out into tears.
God was breaking my heart for his broken children. Walking back across the field, tears started streaming down my face over the heartbreak I had for this child. As soon as I got to the nurses office to get my finger cleaned up I completely lost it and was in tears. (The sweet nurse didn't know what to do with this white lady crying and for those of you who know me well know that I have an ugly cry). I could hardly get out the words "I'm not crying over my finger, but because my heart is broken for this 7 year old boy who is so angry. What has his life been like?" The discipleship leaders that work with the kids at the Tree of Life brought Isaac back to apologize (and as frustrated as I was with him,) I looked at him and said, "Isaac, there is nothing you can ever do to me to make me not love you. And, there is nothing you can do to make God not love you and take care of you." I prayed that day that he truly heard me even as mad as he was at me.
Later I found out that this little boy had only been fed beer from the time that he was two and when he came to live at the Tree of Life he was addicted. I don't understand why some children have to go through the things they do as a child (things that I have never had to face) but what a mighty God we have that he pulls his children up out of the muck and rescues them. I know that God restores His children, and as hard as it was, I thank Him for giving me a minute glimpse of what breaks His heart.
Lord, I ask that you would continue to show me how to love those that are considered unlovable, those considered unwanted, and those considered worthless. Thank you Lord for giving ALL of your children worth and value.
Lord, please continue to heal your children's broken hearts!!
Right before I left on Friday, he walked up to me and so quietly without looking at me said, "I love you Teacher Allison" If you think about sweet Isaac, please pray for him and for the restoration of his heart.